how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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