My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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