Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
