butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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