My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
