I want to have your abortion
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
