I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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