Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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