I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
