haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
