I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
