i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
