the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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