We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
