why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
