Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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