Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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