she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
