This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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