i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
