i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
