: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
