I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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