So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
