you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
