Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When did angry sex become our thing?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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