mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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