when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
