The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
