did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
