feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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