from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
