who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Your penis caused this!
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