I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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