That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
