I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
