So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize