It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
