I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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