he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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