I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Found the puke drawer
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
