My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
