worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
