Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
