I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
