you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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