You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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