Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
