The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
