C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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