It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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